Married Life
(Since my last post was about Marriage, I want to continue the theme)
I’ve been married for about 5 months now. It’s a wonder that I somehow convinced myself to do it. I lead a immature, fickle and messy life full of loose ends and red herrings. There’s no rhyme or reason to most of what I do. I just kind of float.
Given my personality, it was obvious that I was going to be a little reluctant. My wife, then girlfriend, must have been frustrated with me. In my head the wedding band was a shackle; an infinite weight I was going to carry around forever. Everyone jokes about the “old ball and chain”. But I was afraid that it might actually be true.
What was I afraid of really? Abandoning the prospect of other women? I thought that it was, but in retrospect, I got about as much game as an accounting book. Not that I wasn’t people’s type. I like to think that I am. But I was always content to just let things be and never pursue. Partly because I was scared, but maybe the real reason was that I didn’t want to.
Responsibility? Maybe that was it. Having to “look out” for another person’s well being and feelings. But my wife is so low maintenance that even if I were scared of that, the thought would have evaporated before too long.
In reality, I think I was just afraid of life becoming normal; a series of days indistinguishable from each other. There are many perks to being single. But the biggest perk of all is the promise that tomorrow will bring something, or even someone, different. It is a restless existence, but one that I was fond of, and something that was hard for me to let go of.
Some promises were fulfilled and others were not. There’s always hope when you’re single, but some days that’s all that there is. Was I a happier person back then? Before all this marriage business was thrown about?
I will say this about marriage. If your relationship is strong, like ours is. Then your life won’t change that much after marriage. It’s just more time with the one person you love the most. And that’s not a bad thing. The biggest difference I can say, is that the restlessness in my life has been replaced with peace. And it’s really nice. It’s something more than just hope. It’s something real.
